Letter to the editor

Bob Scrivner

Sandy Springs, GA (formerly Osceola)

I have worked for someone other than family members since I was 11. My first paying gig was mowing yards with the neighbor lady who paid me to help her mow other people’s yards. Flo worked as a breakfast/lunch waitress at the Family Table, and at 3 pm each afternoon, she and I mowed a few yards in the neighborhood in Osceola.

Flo taught me the importance of “character,” even though I didn’t know that was what she was teaching me then. She taught me to attend to her customers’ needs. For example, making sure the patio chairs didn’t have grass clippings when we finished. Or making sure the downspouts were back in place to drain away from the home properly when the downpour occurred. Flo always asked the homeowner to step outside and look at our work to ensure they were satisfied before collecting payment. Flo attended to the customers and taught me to do the same thing, and when the homeowner said we made a mistake, how to resolve it.

Character was taught to me by many people: my family, my teachers, church leaders, and the entire community. Character is not something you can memorize, and complete a multiple-choice test to see if someone has the character to ‘attend to others.’ Character is a soft skill that cannot be measured and evaluated effectively because it is an opinion. However, we all know people of good character, and we all know of others you think are not of good character.

People with good character have social skills, a heart filled with positivity, a brain open to new ideas, good listeners, know how to ask for and offer forgiveness, and how to cultivate friendships. They know how to sit with someone who is grieving or depressed and how to be a good conversationist. Another skill humans of good character have is the ability to respectfully disagree with someone else.

In today’s society, if you disagree with someone, it is easy to blast them on social media. You can talk about their ignorance behind their back and even block seeing their opinion. Earlier this year, I saw a post online from someone I respect who encouraged her friends not to give to the Salvation Army because they are anti-LGBTQ+. I know the Salvation Army is Christian, but I did not believe that organization was against equality.

I decided to do some research; I went to the Salvation Army website and found that their mission statement includes equality. I read their press releases stating this social media post was not valid. I then watched a video starring Dolly Parton encouraging people to donate to the red kettles. If you are not familiar, Dolly was pro-homosexual rights decades ago, and her audience was divided by her outspoken views at the time, but she didn’t curtail her opinion. (Keep in mind the number of Dolly Parton Drag impersonators.) - I don’t know Dolly, but she seems like a person of good character based on philanthropic donations over the decades and the interviews I have seen.

I replied to this friend’s post that I did not think the post was proper and stated the research I had completed. Other people on the social media post started belittling me and telling me that I was an anti-equality bigot.

Somehow, our ability to disagree with each other respectfully has been buried under so much hate speech and name-calling that it has become unacceptable ever to disagree. We have created a “cancel culture” where if someone says something that is not the popular opinion in the media, the masses call for that person or group to be “canceled.”

This fundamental skill to disagree respectfully has been lost and appears to be replaced by influential individuals who prefer to divide a community and strike one another. For example, the war in Ukraine, the war in Israel, or the civil unrest that is bubbling up here in the USA.

Character cannot be taught and measured with multiple-choice tests, but we know it when we feel it. I pray that 2024 is filled with more leaders who are of good character and can disagree respectfully, resulting in prosperity for everyone and more peace.